I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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