Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
