On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
