I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
another moral hangover. fuck.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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