Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
