Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
