I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
