I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize