My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize