There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
