i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
