All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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