just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
