put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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