this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
