this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
