So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
