After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize