i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
