you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
