the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
