P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Barsexuality is the new black.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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