I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
