she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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