Why are handjobs necessary in class?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
