Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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