I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My feet surprised me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
