Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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