the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
