okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude i'm inner monologue high
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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