He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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