Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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