areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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