Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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