I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
