I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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