We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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