omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
