I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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