why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize