finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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