the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
