pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
