I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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