i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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