I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
