i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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