He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
