He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
