Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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