8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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