walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
