he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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