no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize