I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
