I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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