Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
