He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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