she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
