Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize