i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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