I want to stick my p in your. b.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
