I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
