the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
