I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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