The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
