I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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