And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
