Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
