I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
