I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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