sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
