I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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