i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I need water and some morals
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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