I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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