I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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