So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
