So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
